I jinxed myself. My last blog post was titled "Feelin' Good!" This one should be titled "Feelin' like Crap and Not Running." Note to self: never write a positive blog post again about how your running is going so well, because your next one will be the exact opposite.
I hate talking about injuries. They make me feel like a failure. They make me feel like I let people down- my coaches, my Oiselle teammates, myself. And they make me feel like I did something wrong.
But I didn't. I stopped running when my leg started hurting and I only ran again when I was told that I could. But the next very short run turned into a limp, which has turned into doctor appointments, x-rays and hobbling around for a week and a half. I have an appointment with a sports doctor tomorrow morning so hopefully I'll get some answers, more tests, pain meds or my leg amputated- I'll leave the decision up to him.
So far, 2013 has not been my year. It started off with a ridiculously tight IT band issue, then the flu. Finally, I got in a few really good weeks of training where I felt like I was really making some improvements, and now I can't even walk normally. So, that of course, means I'm not running the NYC Half on Sunday. I'm bummed to not be running, but I'm glad that I'll still get to cheer on friends! (Good luck and have fun, everyone!)
With all the extra time I now have on my hands, I've taken up eating, sleeping and drinking like they're my job, and have been spending more time with my friends and boyfriend. Some of these things are great, some are not so good!
I'm trying to stay mentally positive, which has worked about 85% of the time. My goal to really work on more core while not running has been much less successful. My be-lazy-and-eat-everything-in-sight phase seemed like a lot more fun, but now I'm regretting it. My body isn't feeling good, I'm feeling sluggish, tired and well, lazy. I'm not doing any cross training until at least after my appointment tomorrow, and am limiting my walking as much as possible, so I don't have many options right now! Now that the Girl Scout cookies are gone, I'm determined to get back to doing some core exercises and push ups. But while those are great and all, driving through Central Park made me really miss it...
What's the worst part about an injury for you? Do you beat yourself up over it? Do you try to stay active or get lazy like me?
I hate talking about injuries. They make me feel like a failure. They make me feel like I let people down- my coaches, my Oiselle teammates, myself. And they make me feel like I did something wrong.
But I didn't. I stopped running when my leg started hurting and I only ran again when I was told that I could. But the next very short run turned into a limp, which has turned into doctor appointments, x-rays and hobbling around for a week and a half. I have an appointment with a sports doctor tomorrow morning so hopefully I'll get some answers, more tests, pain meds or my leg amputated- I'll leave the decision up to him.
So far, 2013 has not been my year. It started off with a ridiculously tight IT band issue, then the flu. Finally, I got in a few really good weeks of training where I felt like I was really making some improvements, and now I can't even walk normally. So, that of course, means I'm not running the NYC Half on Sunday. I'm bummed to not be running, but I'm glad that I'll still get to cheer on friends! (Good luck and have fun, everyone!)
With all the extra time I now have on my hands, I've taken up eating, sleeping and drinking like they're my job, and have been spending more time with my friends and boyfriend. Some of these things are great, some are not so good!
I'm trying to stay mentally positive, which has worked about 85% of the time. My goal to really work on more core while not running has been much less successful. My be-lazy-and-eat-everything-in-sight phase seemed like a lot more fun, but now I'm regretting it. My body isn't feeling good, I'm feeling sluggish, tired and well, lazy. I'm not doing any cross training until at least after my appointment tomorrow, and am limiting my walking as much as possible, so I don't have many options right now! Now that the Girl Scout cookies are gone, I'm determined to get back to doing some core exercises and push ups. But while those are great and all, driving through Central Park made me really miss it...
What's the worst part about an injury for you? Do you beat yourself up over it? Do you try to stay active or get lazy like me?
I feel like I could have written this exact post myself. I was just getting back on a good schedule and running some quality runs again when BAM I went from running with a little niggle to not even being able to walk normally :( I am really sorry about your half this weekend. I am mentally trying to let go of a race effort half in May I was supposed to be training for so I can be smart and build back up slowly. Also, we had girl scout cookies and I ate two boxes this week. Oh, and the Ben and Jerry ice cream my husband brought home to cheer me up :) ha ha So take heart you are not alone. We'll get better and be stronger and smarter for it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I only really love to run so don't do much else when I am out. I have been trying to keep to yoga and hope to do more core work, but that second thing hasn't panned out yet.
Twins!!! Unfortunately! Haha. I left out the Ben and Jerry's part, only because I forgot about it and my boyfriend ate most of it anyway! Sympathy eating, I think! :)
DeleteHope we're both feeling better SOON and back on the roads for some awesome runs!
I definitely beat myself up over my "injury" during the Dec 31 Half. But it's not our fault, especially not yours since you were being SO careful and smart. It's just bad luck! Let me know if you ever want to strength train after Sunday, I'd love to get together for added motivation :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jen! I got the go ahead to do any cross training that doesn't hurt today, so will definitely let you know about next week!
DeleteHope you're feeling good and getting excited about Sunday! Can't wait to cheer for you!!! SUB-2!
You are NOT a failure, Abby! Nor are you letting anyone down! Think about your Oiselle teammates: I bet so many of them have been right where you are right now. They've been injured, they've had setbacks—and you didn't judge them, right? They aren't judging you either! We all feel for you and want you to recover well and come back even stronger.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, my 2012 started off similarly to how your year is going (give or take, you know, a few minutes per mile and no BQ in sight...), right down to getting a miserable flu. It sucked and I got into a pretty bad place—but things got better. And the year ended on a pretty awesome note.
So stay strong, try to keep your spirits up and remember it's OK to wallow a bit. Being injured SUCKS! You're allowed to shed a few tears and pound a few beers. Take good care of yourself—we are ALL rooting for your speedy recovery!
Thank you, Ali! You're totally right...I don't judge others when they're injured, so hopefully no one is wasting their time judging me either.
DeleteI know you're right that things will get better, but it's hard to remember that when it hurts to walk even a few steps. But, I let myself wallow, now I just need to be positive and do what I can to get back out there ASAP!
Hope your running/training(?) is going well! And hope to run into you in the park one of these days when I'm back at it! Til then, I'll be pounding beers :)
So sorry you're struggling with this injury. I completely agree with Ali - you aren't letting anyone down and shouldn't think that way at all! I've been there - I went through a 2 year period of almost constant injuries and was incredibly disappointed when I suffered from 2 stress fractures in my first few months of representing Oiselle. I just had to remind myself that we're all runners and unfortunately, injuries happen to us. You're no less a bird when you're injured than when you're flying! I know it's hard right now since you don't know what's going on yet, but hopefully you'll get some answers today and have a way forward.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry about taking some time to be lazy. This is part of the grieving process for injured runners I think! You'll get to those core workouts soon enough. Maybe this is a sign from your body that you need a little rest. Take care of yourself and you'll be back soon!
Thanks for the positive thoughts and good points, Lisa! I get somewhat irrational when I'm injured and can't run for therapy :)
DeleteIt looks like it's not a stress fracture, so am starting PT tomorrow. I'm somewhat discouraged by this, since I still really don't know what's going on, but hopefully getting some exercises and my leg taped tomorrow will help!
Hope you're doing well!
Injury is so mentally draining! Every little thing sets me off these days. So sorry you're going through this. People will continue to tell you to stay positive and that you'll get through it...which you will...but it's okay to be upset. You're absolutely not a failure and I know there are lots of big things in your future! (And if you just want someone to commiserate with, I'm your girl!! haha)
ReplyDeleteYES!!!! I get frustrated and annoyed SO quickly these days! :( Hope we're all healed up and running again quickly! And until then...driiinnnnks!!! :)
ReplyDeleteYes I want to get fitness and smartness. I think exercise is one of the best ways to make our body healthy and strong. I am going to start exercise and hope I will get smartness soon.
ReplyDelete